Thursday, 31 March 2011

Rooster answers one of those facebook quizes.

I see all of you narcicistic dumb f#cks doing these gay quizzes all the time. Before you start let me tell you as a expert in human nature that nobody reads them and nobody cares. So that left me wondering "why the hell do you do it?" ...So I thought as a way of introducing myself to the world I'd do one of my own and see what the appeal was.

1. Would you shave your head if a family member asked you to because they had cancer?

Depends on 2 things. Are they rich and am I in their will yet.

2. What would you do if the doctor told you that you were pregnant?
Fire the f#cker. I'm a man.

3. Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize?

That would require the person wasn't a total sociopath, with a sense of entitlement that made them not feel the necessity to take responsibility for their actions. That person happened to be a woman, so obviously then

4. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yes. Very , very good. Not even I can't even find the fuckers.

5. Are you wasting your time on someone?


6. Explain the last time you threw up:

I dont think I ever stopped (spiritually anyway).

.7. Last thing that made you cry:

If something tried to make me cry I'd either fuck it or kill it , depending on gender.

8. Do you have a bad temper?

See above.

9. Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?

Any woman that would marry me is not worth having.

10. How many funerals have you been to in your lifetime?
The problem is they often fall on he weekend, and I hardly ever need cheering up on the weekend. So not as many as I'd like to.

11. What is your deepest fear?
Instead of just collapsing and staying the f#ck collapsed, the universe re-expands and we all have to re-live our stupid lives.

13. Do you REALLY love all your family?

If by "love" you mean haven't killed. Sure ! Mostly.

14. What do you believe in?
The flying spagetti monster and his noodly tentacles of justice. That's one bad ass motherf#cker. I'm a nihilist , but I'm not taking chances with that bastard.

15. Do you have a secret crush on someone?

No. When I'm crushing people it's hard to keep it secret. All that screaming. indiscreet Assholes.

16. Are you proud of who you are?
Well if you can't set a good example , then it's your duty to be a horibble warning. In this sense...yes.

17. Do you feel alone even in crowded rooms?
Trust me. When I'm around the room is seldomly crowded.

18. What is the worst thing a person could do to you and still be forgiven?
Well it doesn't help that I already hate them in a way so deeply beyond redemption before I've even met them. But purely rhetorically speaking you could be Kurt Darren and introduce yourself to me. But not for long.

19. You're dying in 10 seconds, what are your last words to your best friend?

Knowing my luck....."No ! The green wire you stupid f#ck !" Check your friends for colorblindness that's all I'm saying. If they are , tell them go fuck themselves and stop being such assholes.

20.... to your worst enemy?

How wierdly absract. How could I be dying BEFORE my worse enemy ? How did I kill him then ? Don't bore me with this supernatural shit.

21. Do you care if people hate you?

You always care about something you've invested a lot of time into.

22. Freedom or safety?
What a stupid question. Freedom is having nothing left to lose dumbass. You can't have one without the other.

23. Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names:

You're the single cause of all my misery and angst ! Ok , I'll admit it wasn't random.

24. Has a song ever made you cry?
I take the second amendment. And if you won't give me that I'll take the amendment that allows me to have guns instead and force you to ! Man that's witty.

25. A book ever made you cry?
How big a book are we talking and who is hitting me with it ?

26. Is the world crumbling to pieces?

No you dumb f#cks , it's ensuing into chaos you thermo-dynamic illeterate fartwhores. Eventually even the laws of physics will break down, then where the f#ck will you smug c#nts be ? Up shit creek and that's where. Now f#ck off.

27. Name one moment where you couldn't control your rage:

1977-20011 (cont.)

28. For the last one, just say anything you want, anything at all:

You're all going to die and there's not a f#cking thing you can do about it. Eveything you love or care about will turn to dust. If you don't die a horrible premature young death , the best case scenario for you is to be an empty hollow burnt out old crippled husk of a person , in nappies. Pwned.


Anonymous said...

Why do you not get some professional help?

The Rooster said...

I am the professonal help. Bitch.

Anonymous said...

Ha-ha! Nice larf, where's the link to the original post?

The Rooster said...

It is an original post.

Anonymous said...

Pastafariens unite. Pink unicorns can fuck off along with the tooth fairy, Yahweh, Zeus, Allah, the whirling dervish and any other fucker that tries to interrupt my weekend or my sleep with their incessant whining and need for attention. I’m far too busy not collecting stamps and not playing rugby.

The Rooster said...

Ha ha. A man after my own heart.