Rooster presents : Fuck you week.

I was busy writing this long winded article about social identity theory and how being a racist is a very accurate indication that a person is white trash. But there typically comes a time in a man's week when his soul groans from the weight of taking the world too damn seriously. Unless that man is Japanese of course, and therefore has no soul (just kidding Reon Kadena ... Holy Shit!)

If you're wondering why I'm putting up a picture of Reon Kadena , even though there doesn't seem to be a rational reason to, then cut off your balls and throw them away.

Anyway I suffer this affliction more than others and it's for this reason I've decided to stop telling you all how awesome South Arica is and instead tell you how crappy ass other places are. I intend to do this for the whole of next week, but the only thing I have ever done consistantly in my whole life is not follow through on anything. You can bank on it.

Places, for example, like the U.K.

Once a guy asked me to design a test to determine whether or not someone lived in a shit country. Easy. To fast track the whole thing I simply put "Do you live in the U.K" as the first question. Next to that I put two check boxes : One for "No, Thank fucking god" and another for "Go fuck yourself".

I don't know what it is that I hate most about the U.K, but a big part of it the people. Bunch of chavs, yobbos and louts. Whatever good grace the British once had they loaded off on their little adventures and foray's into South Africa (where they got their asses kicked by some zz top fans dressed in khaki's). I was watching the "secret millionaire" the other night and he was hanging out with some English people. I couldn't quite understand the premise of the show but I was sure at any moment clearly it was leading up to the millionaire paying to get all the unbearable low class twats killed. I thought this was a brilliant and delightful tv show. But no !!!....true as f#ck what does he do ? He gives them money !!!!!!

Update : I watched that show again and my god does Britain have a lot of white trash who are living in awful circumstances. It's shocking to see white people living like this. Who would move to this cesspit of islands ?

One could argue at one time that the only decent people in the U.K were the Irish. You know , a hearty , warm, beer guzzling bunch. But that was long before Westlife and fucking Boyzone. You just try lay your love on me and I'll lay my cricket bat on you , jerkwads ! And let's not even talk about Michael motherfucking Flatley or leprecauns.

Then there's the Scotts. I don't know what I hate about the Scotts, but it's probably the red haired men in girly skirts hogging all the good whisky. And for inventing a game that's both expensive, addictive and impossible to master. Everytime I'm searching for a golf ball in a f#cking bush , I'm fantasising over creative new ways to spread Scottland the plague.

And the Welsh ? Just shut the fuck up. Real men don't sing ! If you're drunk and must express yourself just hug your male friends and tell them you love them "bru". Enough of this gay singing shit. I even hate people from the rocks of gibralter. Unsociable jerks.

I mean with that said there are good reasons to move to England. Say for example you're a total asswhipe, or a douchebag for example. Then again you might be a stupid cunt. The reasons are endless. But certainly the weather is not a good reason.

The only weather you have in England is WHETHER it will be shitty, cold and wet , or WHETHER it will just be Shitty and cold. It's a perfectly acceptable but somewhat sadistic joke to send someone you know in England some sunblock and a bathing suit. The moment it arrives there will be public knee slapping laughter and it will be placed on the novelty mantlepiece as an ironic reminder of just where they are. Then later, secretly alone , the weeping.

I don't know really. Even the flag says it all. The union jack is nothing more , when you really look at it, than a crosshair. It's like a subtle suicide plea.

But one shouldn't limit themselves. There's just so much to hate about the U.K but it's not without it's good points. Luckily the few good things about the U.K , 4 to be exact, can be enjoyed from afar : Monty Python, Ramsays kitchen nightmares, the band Muse and whisky.

To conclude I'd like to tell you a story I often tell about one time I was in the U.K. Here goes.

Once upon a time I was in the U.K. and it totally sucked. Seriously, fuck that place.

The end.

I'm leaving out so much that really ought to be talked about. The bitch queen, the bland food, the crappy football fixation, the horrible youth, the smelly old people , the social welfare leaches, the werewolves in london. I know I'm leaving so much out, but frankly the whole place can go to hell.

For actual real South Africa news : Great news for South African farmers.