Monday, 21 September 2009

Poor expats.

The expats are fuming, raging and wildly furious.

Something terrible has happened. Something unspeakable has arisen and crushed their hopes. Jacob Zuma has still not destroyed South Africa.

You see there's nothing that thrills white South Africans more than bad news in South Africa. You'd think like normal functioning people when they came across all the obvious good happening in their ex country they would be pleased. But no, this is never the case. The last thing they ever want to do is admit that under a black government South Africa is not only sustaining in wealth and lifestyle, but taking massive strides forward.

You can present them with a millions facts and data sets that demonstrate quick easily and convincingly how the country is getting richer, safer, better educated .. 10 million people with news housing, clean water, electricity, 50 000 black people moving into middle classed housing every month, the 4th most new millionaires in the world, violent crime down by 44% this decade etc etc and you'd think this would please them. Youre wrong.

In fact the opposite. They find this scenario so unbearable it will ellicit all the same emotions that a person experiences when facing his mortality.

Fear !

"Oh god ! Is it really getting better ? Black people are getting wealthy and starting to living in a dignified manner ? No more "Ja baas"? No more tin shacks in a few years ? A thriving economy ? And all this time I've been sitting in sh!tty cold, heartless London with these fat tarts for company ? Oh jesus no ! "
Anger !
"How dare you sugget South Africa is getting better you K lover ! What about the (insert inflated and distorted pseudo fact here)."
But again when they get the facts thrown in their face , still they will not accept it. It's too awful a prospect for them to

Denial !

"Bullshit man ! The government hides the real crime stats , and all the insurance companies ,actuaries, hospitals , police including the white ones, ministers, indipendant watch groups etc are in it ! The black were happier during apartate and hate the A.N.C who have done nothing for them ! That's why only around 90% of them vote for the A.N.C !! The South Arican economy has only enjoyed record growth for years chinese ! No the bilderburg group ! No , no ..the ! Bigfoot "!

Bargaining !

"Yah ok...some things have gotten better I suppose , but did you hear about so and so who has murdered with a so and so. How can you defend that ? And the baby rape man ! None of this happened during apartheid ! Oh wait, yes, you're right. We didn't really report black on black crime back then. Wouldn't have looked good. But still the so and so ! That was grueseome. You ignore the bad stuff and I'll ignore the good news. Even if the good outweighs the bad by a lot."


Unlike death, few expat South Africans have reached this stage yet. The prospect of a black run South Arica being a success is so traumatic to them they just can't. Years of political brain washing and pent up guilt makes them reject this notion no matter how plain and obvious it is to see. But of course a few do and they're increasing. This is easily demonstrated by how many people are returning. Of course South Africa improving is not the only factor. England is after all...a shit hole. Here's a letter to South African expats living there.

Note : Rooster is extremely well positioned and qualified to make psychological assesments. Your behaviour very closely resembles the grieving process. Some perhaps for loved ones lost , but mostly you're grieving for home. Deeply existentially homesick. This post is only partly a joke and a lot of you would benefit from psychological treatment.


Anonymous said...

hey rooster

sorry this is off topci again
but in thailand i got all the attention and my cousin got none and he is really good looking and we couldnt work it out
where iam but ugly is it cause he is good looking and so the thai gurls thought maybe he alread yis taken ?

where maybe they thought iam butt ugly so iam must be available

as for zuma if he does well i will bne happy as it means sa will do well

thanks again

The Rooster said...

Sounds more like you were hanging around dodgy girls. Phuket is full of them. The point is it's now what you look like to dodgy girls , it's how good a chance they think they have of getting money out of you. Ugly guys being more suseptable to flattery and good looking not very easy to manipulate.

Although indeed for the most part of course you will get attention from thai women even if you're no stud. But you're god looking friend as anywhere else is the world is going to get more. Unles he's hat good looking that they now it fultile to pursue such a guy. Good looking white guys barely ever settle down with one girl in asia....they're too spoilt for choice.

Anonymous said...

the better zuma does the better for all who cares what his skin colour is

as long as he isnt corrupt and works hard for the people we have a winner

Black Coffee said...

Hey Rooster - your old friend Greg here. The new crime stats are out, you can find them on News24. It shows that murder rate is down, while house invasion robberies are up. Over at they are alleging that SAPS fudges the stats. I know they are a racist site, but do you think there may be any truth to this? Even if not, it is still pretty disturbing that house invasions are up, but hopefully SA will work on this.

The Rooster said...

For the millionth time , how could tey fudge the stats even if they wanted to ? It would be the biggest con in history. They'd need the insurance companies, entire police force, hospitals , doctors , actuaies , staticians, auditors etc in on the job. The police release very details crime reports , evey precinct, every crime etc......and furthermore if they could fudge them why show increases in crimes like rape ?

Get over it people. Crime is down. Just be happy for fuck sakes.

Black Coffee said...

Good point, but our "friends" at allege that SAPS lists some deaths as suicides that are actually homicides.

The Rooster said...

Wtf makes them experts with sudden xray vision into the dealings of the police ? Their only agenda is to present south africa as as fucked up as possible. My agenda is to present it as it is. They're full of baseless accusations and a neurotc , paranoid and sometimes opportunistic crowd of morons.