Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Diary of a South African expat in England


7 am Wake up after an uncomfortable nights sleep (you try sleeping in a tin foil hat). Set the snooze button. Just 10 more minutes of dreaming of the happy days when I lived in South Africa before I have to deal with reality…..please.

7 :15 am Creak and shiver out of bed. Take a quick look outside at the weather. Predictably miserable as usual. Mutter something sarcastically about “just another day in paradise”.

7 : 30 Get under the shower and barely manage to prop myself up against the wall as the water thaws out my bones. I soon find myself in a hypnotic daze. A distant voice in my head whispers of happier times in South Africa. Why did I leave that paradise for this nonsense ? What the hell was I thinking ? How stupid ! Stupid! Stupid ! It’s all a blur as I gain consciousness and find myself weeping in the fetal position watching the water flow down the drain like the joy has from my soul.

8 : 00 am Decked out in my industrial overalls I make it out of tiny inner city flat I rent. I don’t have time to consider the irony of how much more dangerous , ugly and dysfunctional the neighborhood I’m living in now was compared to the glorious luxurious suburbian lifestyle I had as a middle classed South African. But there’s no time for quiet reflection as I hurry to catch the bus.

8 : 30 – 5pm Join my fellow ranks of working class nobodies. They entire day moans by in one long monotonous torture. One moment is indistinguishable from the next. Nothing happens , nothing changes. My fellow workers have long since tired of my negative and bitter victim mentality and aren’t interested in my crying out for attention and lies about South African anymore. When they used to feign interest when I told them of genocide being carried out in South Africa and how I am an exile/refugee from my own country….now….they just roll their eyes. They’ve seen through my racist agenda and hyberbole and instead now just see me for the talentless loser I am who holds everyone in the world responsible for my problems but myself.

5 : 30 pm Get home. Scrape together the energy to put some baked beans on toast and open a beer. The days of cheap dining out and braaing mountains of meat with glasses of excellent cheap red wine, under the warm evening skies are over The days of heading down to the pub for a few beers (and to spread the latest urban myths about crime and the A.N.C) are also sadly over. Nothing interesting happens here anyway. Nobody runs around digging for any half truths and sensationalistic rubbish here , except in the context of football. There’d be nothing to talk about even if I could afford to go to the pub.

6 : pm With each bite of toast I can’t bare it any longer. There’s an itch I know needs scratching. I head for my computer. Before you know it I’m off surfing all my popular sites (like South Africa sucks) in the hope of finding some bad news to validate this personal hell. It’s not long and I’m reading about how children in South Africa do drugs and rape their pets. How black people on a daily basis boil alive white babies to make potions (but mostly just for fun). How the A.N.C are really in fact either run by the zionist bilderburg group , or are in fact Reptilian overlords who feed on our young (I choose to believe both). How the Crime rate in South Africa has finally broken the 1 billion murders per day rate , but the government is covering it up (and that’s only white people). How Jacob Zuma , the Yeti and loch ness monster faked the moon landings to cover up the fact they shot John F Kennedy from the grassy knoll.

8 pm
My search for anything to affirmate my stupid decision to leave South Africa continues. As the beer kicks in and I feed on this information choosing to ignore and deny it’s absolute absurdity , I start to feel pretty good about my decision to leave South Africa. I trawl youtube , forums and blogs looking for any signs of South Africans pretending they are living normal happy lives. I berated them for their delusions and ensure them that they were probably murdered and raped already but they just didn’t know it. I tell any other foreigners who are thinking of visiting South Africa about how they will get killed before they even leave the airport.

9pm : Still pretty much spend my time spreading about as much negativity as I can about South Africa. It’s with more than a little spite that I wish to ensure that if I can’t enjoy South Africa , then no-one else can either. They might think they’re doing pretty well over there with their thriving economy , high standards of living , social upliftment and the likes….but I won’t allow it. I’ll sabotage South Africa’s future in anyway that I can , even if it involves lies , manipulation , sensationalism , scaremongering and hyperbole. I’ll teach these uppity blacks for thinking they could run a country using liberty instead of sticks and guns.

10 pm : a little tipsy now and a little horny. Find some pictures of gruesome farm murders. This scat stuff gets me really hot. I can't get enough of it.

11 pm : Pass out with my dick in my hand in a drunken stupor , but not before I’ve spread a great deal of stupidity and ignorance around. I’m a real winner.

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pathetic attempt to get some more attention. Your worst fear is that people will stop reading and commenting on your blog. You see, indifference is worse than hatred. If your blog gets less comments you feel defeated. By now everyone knows you are an attention seeker and you get off on winding people up. You feed off other people's responses to your ridiculous bullshit. Soon there will be no more comments because no one takes you seriously.

The_Rooster said...

If by worst fear you mean "thing you feel total sense of apathy about " then you're spot on. F for fail.

aaah that really hurt said...

Wow! How clever you are! You really got me! I'll give you an "A" for being an Attention-whore

Optician said...

You're a twat who's also stuck with the shit in this country, but you voted for it so you have to believe the lie. Remember, the truth will out.

Anonymous said...

OK, so carrying on where we left off in White men still cant jump from August...

"Kak man :-)

You've picked humanity as your squad, but from that you've picked a team, and its not caucasians (not even a quota player :-)). Look, in all seriousness now, I think that in order for us (myself and other readers) to fully understand where you are coming from, its important that we get a feel for the motivation behind your beliefs, and I think the next couple of questions really address that. So one more time now (I don't think I can simplify this any further...), I would really appreciate it if you could answer the following:

I am interested to know why you spend your time fighting caucasians? And secondly, how do you justify this as furthering humanity?

UB"

The Uhuru Guru said...

@UB - he won't answer, don't waste your time.

The Rooster said...
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The_Rooster said...

Every day I read Why South Africa Sucks blog and it gives me intense pleasure to see your white bitches raped and sodomised, your children bastardised, your old cracker folk fucked up and exterminated!!! I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! KILL THE FUCKING WHITEYS!!!!!!!! AND WHEN YOU'VE DONE KILLING THEM, DIG THEM OUT OF THEIR GRAVES AND FUCKING KILL THEM AGAIN!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Rooster you are an attention-whore

the_rooster said...

I have a small chicken-size penis

the_rooster said...

I like to make a fool of myself by writing shit

oponent said...

Piss off Rooster imposter... You're no match, and anyway, you're spoiling the fun.

Anonymous said...

Hi there,

I totally get your wit/apathy in trying to face these issues (i.e. those racist white blogs). Yes; white people will think what they want even though a black person brought home the only medal and a white person went around trying to kill people with a sword.

It's weird how they don't see we are just a human as them. But I got over that a long time ago. You see racists only fuel another fire- that of that we are winning. As black people. The more they complain the more it becomes apparent. The more they are showing their own weakness.

It'll take a while for views to change and all of me doesn't actually care if they do or don't. I am comfortable enough with who I am to be fine with that fact. Don't worry about them.

patient said...

Anon - You are negroid and we are not. Don't tell me we aren't different. I'm not saying we should hate each other, but let's call a spade a spade. Whites are fueling a righteous fire and when you all die of aids becuase you don't believe in birth control and insist on breeding yourselves into starvation, the truth will finally Out!

Anonymous said...

@TUG,
Yeah, I figured he'd dodge this one - and not for my lack of persistence, I’ve posed the questions repeatedly. Entertaining read on occasion, but the fact that he doesn’t want to address these basic questions shows me he’s just fluff, and no real substance. A self-serving joker who does it for his own amusement, nothing more. It would be funnier if people weren’t actually suffering while he’s prattling on. A distinct lack of empathy for others - he won’t be laughing so hard when fate throws him a similar blow. I’m guessing the lad is quite young though (writing style and world outlook would suggest), perhaps 21 or 22 as he mentioned something about a social science background (hahaha oxymoron of note, what a f*cking joke. No offence to those in the field, I’m sure you’re the exception that proves the rule but I find the word ‘science’ to be misleading with regards to what you do) so maybe its just a matter of time before he wakes up and abandons his Liberal ways - we all do eventually

@ Rooster - its a pity, I gave you the benefit of the doubt but I really expected more from you. No matter, life goes on

@ anonymous black person
I don’t hate you – I have to know you first and quite obviously I don’t. But when I look at the world and see the sh*t going down, the black race seems to be a liability. Harsh words, I know (I understand that you are human and have feelings too) and broad brushstrokes, for sure (you are not all the same and I won’t treat you any differently because of your skin colour) but until your race steps up, do not be surprised that you are the object of scorn. Let me repeat that - until your race steps up, DO NOT BE SURPRISED that you are the object of scorn. And one more time for good measure - until your race steps up, do not be surprised that you are the object of scorn. It sucks to be labelled, yes, but if you can understand this then you are that much closer to understanding why white folk are so upset, and it’ll stand you in good stead when it comes to separating the supposed ‘racist’ from the actual ‘racist’

UB

The_Rooster said...
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The_Rooster said...
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The_Rooster said...
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The Rooster said...

I'm not going to spend my time running around deleting posts from imposters. From now on I'll simply make all my posts under my official (read: blue) blogger ID.

Now settle down. I'm perfectly happy to answer that question. So just to clarify ....

-----------------------------
I am interested to know why you spend your time fighting caucasians? And secondly, how do you justify this as furthering humanity?
----------------------------

I'm not fighting caucasians. I'm fighting those who portray our country as if it's a war zone. I know what it's like to live in South Africa and so do all of you. My experience of the country is that it's perfectly safe and I never feel my freedom hampered by crime. Rhetorically speaking something can happen to you , but that's true for everywhere and anything. In reality you can qork yourself up sick about this rubbish , but that's dysfunctional and neurotic. Worrying about murder is as irrational as worrying about a plane crash. Now I'm a nervous flier but I've got the sense to know that's my neurosis and not representative of reality. Hence I don't go running around screaming to everyone about how they shouldn't fly and how all plans are going down in balls of flames ! And if I did , I'd expect someone to shout me down and say "Woah ! Now listen son , here are the facts , flying is pretty damn safe. "

That's what I'm doing with this website ...counter balancing the ridiculous claims being made about South Africa. I'm not denying our problems , I'm denying South Africa is a bad place to live. I'm denying that crime is something that should stop tourists or investment coming into the country , because it does not affect their risk groups. I'm denying that South Africa is not safe.

I'm proposing that if you took any country and searched all days for evidence of bad things going on that you'd find them. Bad horrible gruesome sick things that would make your stomach turn. To put these up on a billboard and to step back and say "That represent X county" is absurd. In the case of South Africa the people doing this...well they just hate to be whites.

Now if their agenda was about helping South Africa move forward. If they were at all interested in seeing a better life for all South Africans , or had a geniune concern for the well being of black and white people alike ....that would be a different thing. But do they ? Bullshit. This is what gets me. They totally wish failure upon South Africa (black people). Look at the comments here wishing death upon the same black people their entire premise is based around being concerned about. The hatred is deep and dark. If they changed their websites to say " We are those that simple wish to see black people fail and die" ..then I'd feel they had more integrity.

The irony is they pretend this is an attitude they came up with since black people came into power and based on their policies....what a farce...that's exactly how they felt during apartheid too when black people had no power. Total dehuminisation , total pantomiming of black people aa stupid murderous savages....and it's one of those universal truths that when you dehumanise you lose your humanity.

Some people will be lost to bitterness and hate on both sides. We won't win all of them over. But we need to protect from more people joining the extremes (right or left wing) and that means counter balancing bullshit hate based rhetoric when we see it. South Africa is one episode of South Park. Every issue the whole place polarises to the extremes and goes bat shit crazy. For a society to go forward what's called for is tolerance, understanding and empathy towards each others position. The problem is very few of these neagtive posters even live in South Africa anymore. They're not at all interested in South Africa moving forward. You're average white everyday South African is very happy and proud to live here , and very highly likely not even aware of most of this rubbish being posted up all over the internet by ex-pat wetmats. They're too busy enjoying their lives to bother or take such bollocks seriouslt. I have ZERO issue with these people.

The Rooster said...

Now my question. What do you think the agenda is of those people who post all this negative rubbish ?

The Rooster said...

Just read my response and noticed it's riddled with spelling errors and typos. I'm a busy boy today so I'm sacrificing accuracy for content. Deal with it.

The Rooster said...

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The Rooster said...

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The Rooster said...

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i am weasel said...

I are baboon said: "Just read my response and noticed it's riddled with spelling errors and typos. I'm a busy boy today so I'm sacrificing accuracy for content. Deal with it."

Yeah, highly educated indeed. Busy day at the parking lot? You are also sacrificing sense for nonsense.

The Rooster said...

You take such issue with someone beind educated. Seems you have a chip on your shoulder. To me it's really not a big deal.

the_weasel said...

No, sadly no chip, only dandruff. It's just... ah, "sigh" well, a little learning is a dangerous thing and I don't want you to hurt yourself.

Anonymous said...

If its so bad in the UK why not leave?

The Rooster said...

People are leaving the UK ...200 000 a year. And 1.5 south africana returns from the UK than leaves to go live there. South Africa gets 2000 emmigration requests from British citizens a month over and above that.

Dachshund said...

Love it!!