I grew up in dark , dark times . It's wasn't quite the “black plague” or anything ....but it was just as traumatic : The 1980's .
There were many things that sucked in the 1980's. Aparthied...Steve Hoffmeyer, The Kmer Rouge genocide. All equal bad ...but what really took the crap cake about being a child in the 1980's was of course the shitty children's tv shows .Try as you may , who could forget the little blue minions of hell that were “the Smurfs" ?
"Flipper" (also known as " Stupid smiling fish with a hole in it")
When one considers that Dolphins are nothing more than gay sharks , one is reminded of a certain Dolphin named “flipper” . Except of course even for a dolphin flipper was extremely gay . Imagine that dolphins had TV shows , flipper would be the blonde guy in queer eye for the straight guy . He'd have the technology and he could rebuild you . Dry your tears . Well fuck you flipper ! Fuck you and your opinions on fashion !
Stupid flipper . Hey guys , I wonder how flipper will solve this weeks sea bound problem ? Maybe , just maybe , it will involve jumping high out the water . Or perhaps , just perhaps , he'll manipulate his environment using his nose . Mind blowingly it could involve a third option , flipper making annoying clicking dolphin noises . Wow , no wonder they made this show for kids . The fragile adult just couldn't handle it without mass over excitement fueled heart attacks
In fairness flipper was a “show” that ran from 1964-1967 , but thanks to S.A.B.C it was forced on my youth anyway . If it wasn't for Margot that slutty , sexy , flirty weather girl , I'd never have forgave them .
My little pony . (Also known as " Horn ass fuckers " )
My little pony wasn't a show so much a series of manipulative adverts used to market and a sell a product (I'm not actually joking) . That's all good and fine , as so was “He-man” . He-man however was awesome . The toys could do cool stuff like shag barbie and parachute . My little pony could only do crap girlie stuff like get it's mane and tail brushed . It's no wonder all you girls are so dumb with only that to stimulate your minds . I suppose My little ponies could do one cool thing , as I often demonstrated to the girls in my class : Melt . But even that they could only do once .
Then , in a cruel blow of fate I was banned from playing with fire .
Anyway , besides the toys being crap . the show was awful and basically about sex . God knows what they did with those horns .
Now if you ask me moonwalking is bad enough.,but moonwalking in tracksuits ???!! What combination of mega strength crazy pills must people have been on to have made that advert and have expected people not to want to kill them ? If you asked me the Americans were supporting the whiteys..but one day someone knocked on Raegens door with a betamax recording of this in a panic .....and it was the final straw. If this advert was made today , you could probably garner support from the ku klux klan for Uhuru !!!
Stupid 1980's . We should have killed it when we had the chance .