Pigs fly.

God knows I'm a sexist pig. I think very little of the intellectual state of the modern female and even less of her general sense of ethics and fair play. So it came as a surprise when a female "friend" (I do feign friendship with the odd female in leu servicing certain biological urges)...forwarded my attention to an article in a womans magazine "Femina- ugh".

Now we all know women's magazine , very much like women's brains , are full of some of the most vacant , shallow and empty bullshit rhetoric possible. So it came to a surprise when I found this rather good article on South African expats. Now I should scan it or something so you can read the whole thing but that sounds more complicated an endevour than I care to venture on. So I'll just pick and choose some parts for your attention and paraphrase them.

Highlights of the article include the following.

Dumbasses Lynne and Guy hoskings stupidly thought life in Australia would not suck (idiots !!). For years these jerks actually planned to move there. Eventually they fuck off there like real twats. They're full of expectations (good ones even). When the assholes get there they are so stupid to even be surprised at the lack of decent acommodation and how ridiculously expensive (exorbitant is the word these ass wipes use) it is. When the do find a shit hole they can afford (only through both having to work long hours and leaving the kids in day care...oh and without maids and shit to help at home) they find they have to commute for hours into the city. When the kids got sick they had to wait hours and hours to see a public health care doctors because it was impossible to find a private doctor who would take on new patients.

Four months later (4 more than any sane person would spend in Australia...place is full of giant rats that jump a lot) , after trying two cities (Brisbane and Sydney) the neurotic numbskulls returned home with their tails between their legs with this to say. The assholes even were surprised to find that the Australians are not friendly to South africans (I mean..really ?...what the fuck ? )

"There is no doubt Australia is a nanny state governed by rules and regulations. It's what makes it so efficient but I started to miss the creative flair and entrepreneurship of South Africans. I found Australia culturall isolated." Lynne goes on to say she realised that to make it work they would have to embrace the Australian way of life and they were not willing to do that. That's a light way of putting it. I would have said "Fuck Australia , the people are assholes and I'd rather go trough a billion hijackings than life in that cunt hole of a country ! Australian culture ? Please...it's all people talking funny and fucking sheep. But if you'd seen the women you'd not be so judgmental and realise that worring bout the difference between man and beast in this case is a little pedantic. "

Anyway the article goes on to try and help us understand the trauma most expats feel (As if we give a shit) . The lady goes on to say "Emmigration is a very loaded term. It states you have given up on your country and are ready to adopt another. I found South Africans who have made a home for themselves in Australia are either very negative about South Africa in order to justify their emmigration , or they still pine for Africa even after years of being away. I don't want to become either of those people. "

Later she states" Now that we're back we;ve chosen to live here rather than enduring life here. Yes, there ae reasons for concern but our eyes have been opened to all the wonderful things that the country has to offer."

Bitter fruit.

The article tries to help normal not psychotic people like you and me who still live in South Africa understand what those fuck-tards who emmigrated are going through. It states "Emmigrating is a hugely emtive issue. In those final weeks when your history is being dismantled , discarded or packed into boxes, the finality of your decision hits home and for many people it can be terrifying.

Some people find comfort in reinforcing their reasons for leaving South Africa and falsly enhancing the benefits their new country has to offer, often out of proportion."

"You have to feel you've done the right thing to justidy the momentous leap you're taking " admits an emmigre (asshole for those of us who speak english). "It helps to magnify everything negative about South Africa and ignore the good news or progress" (sound familiar to you guys ? If not go check out insane bullshit expat nazi sites likes http://www.zasucks.com/). " The more doom and gloom you hear the better you feel, even to the point of feeling vincidated when there's another report of a hijacking. "

Fucking nice ! This is why I hate fucking expats...the cunts actually love to dance around in the gore of any bad shit that happens here , just so they can vindicate their bullshit decision to leave this paradise. Hijackings ? If you take hijackings , house breakings and armed robbery alone they make up only 500 of the yearly murders that happen here. And most of those are to black south Africans so what they fuck are these twats on about anyway ?

Anyway this other guy goes on to say....and yes this guy seems alright given the circumstances and context of what he say "We were victims of crime and I'm afriad I've been guilty of exaggerating crime the crime situation and other problems in South Africa to Australians. In my heart I really miss South Africa and I'm still so angry at the circumstances that forced us to leave"

News for you buddy. The circumstances here are just fine. It's not the circumstances that forced you to leave. It's the neurotic scaremongers that managed to convince you that your situation was common when it was a freakishly rare event , however tragic. Now I know that sounds callous but assure you it's not. My anger is aimed at those who are hurting out country with needless neurotic and negative rubbish that chases away tourists and invetment in my country.

Now the article finished up by offering some advice to those emmigrating. It asks them to "be a good ambassador. If you're leaving the country you might want to reflect that whatever you think there are still millions of South Africa who still love this beautiful country and lifestyle and consider it a wonderful place to live. Go quietly and gracefully with consideration for those of us who are staying. In a way I often like to put it "If you're not part of our future that's fine...but get the fuck out of the way."

Be realistic : Bear in mine the agendas of other expats South Africans. They can't stand the idea of South Africa doing well and will exageratte the hell out of their situation in their new country compared to S.A. Also emmigration consultants are in the business of painting a rosy situation. They wax lyrical about tax situations and the ease of finding good work etc....it's 99% bullshit. Fact one for example....most South Africans abroad end up private schooling their kids if they can afford it because of the shocking state of government education.

It goes on about other shit like "be proactive" but the fun laughing at the expats mysery is mostly finished at this point and loses my interest. Expats are scum and I'm not really interested in caring about their bullshit problems...fucking turncoat backstabbing cunts.