From: http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/989
LONDON. South African expatriates living in Britain and the US say that they are unlikely to vote in April 22’s general election as they are too busy queuing at soup kitchens and catching rats to bulk up their gruel. However some expats have demanded the right to vote, hoping to stuff their shoes with ballot papers and gather up enough pencils to burn for warmth.
The issue of whether or not expatriates should be allowed to vote in the forthcoming election has been a political hot potato in South Africa, with the ANC opposing the move as it fears a strong expatriate turnout on April 22 could see its majority slip from 76 percent to 75.9 percent.
However the Democratic Alliance and the Freedom Front Plus remain adamant that expatriates should be allowed to vote abroad, and are hoping for a major boost from this demographic.
4.4 million of South Africa’s 4.5 million whites currently live in four flats in Shepherd’s Bush in London, and both opposition parties are hoping to rouse at least a few dozen out of their traditional apathy come April 22.
But for expatriates, trapped in a crushing cycle of debt, joblessness and stale Jaffa Cakes, voting is not as easy as it sounds.
Worsie van Tonder, a 26-year-old electrical engineer currently working as a coffee-bean titillator at Costa, says he is unlikely to vote even if allowed to.
“If you’re out of the shop for more than twelve minutes a month they fire you,” he explained. “I just don’t know when I’d get the chance. And these beans need titillating.”
Elsa-Chante Smit, 23, is a classically trained pet therapist but is currently paying her heating bills by working as an exotic dancer at Little Caesar’s Skin Bar in Glasgow. She echoes Van Tonder’s sentiments, although she says she’s lucky just to have a job.
“A lot of South Africans in the UK, you see them roaming around in the streets like zombies. Slack jaws, moaning as they walk, Springbok jerseys all dirty and ragged, Springbok beanies all unraveling, Springbok scarves dragging in the slush behind them.
“The local kids throw them with rocks. Dogs rip off their jean-pants. It’s horrible.”
Brad Brad-Bradley, who decided to take a gap year in London with his friend and wrestling partner Chad Chadley-Chadford after they graduated from Michaelhouse with distinctions in suppressed masculine rage, said he would not be voting on April 22 as he would be at the South African embassy applying for economic refugee status.
“Bru, we’re so stoked about going home and that, but we sold our Bok puffer jackets and Bok jerseys so we’d totally freeze to death before we made it to Heathrow,” he explained.
He said getting on a South African Airways flight was easy as one only needed to offer the cabin crew some hard drugs.
“The problem is that me and Chad ate our drugs last night, with the last of the rat.
“It was so cold, and our teeth are starting to get loose in our gums, and he had this brick of skunk, so we fried it in diesel oil and shredded the last of the rat-leg into it.
“It tasted lank kak but what can you do in these times?”
24 comments:
we should be allowed to vote as expats as long as we stay close and informed to the countery but the anc dont want us to vote cause we will kick them out us expats
There are not enough south african expats to even make a dent. But yes , let them vote IMO.
Not another hatchet "cut & paste" job from hayibo.com AGAIN!
For Chrissakes chicken-shit man/fowl... write your own "sheet" and stop poaching other peoples friggin' content. The interweb is choked enough copies without your silly duplications.
Fuck me... those frontal lobes must be gasping for their fair share of haemoglobin by now for you to stoop to this crap stunt.
Oh, and BTW - no, I'm not going to vote cause the last time I voted was "yes" to get the anc unbanned and look at the shit sandwich that progressed from there (and not to mention that I don't give the proverbial "flying fuck" about Southern Zimbabwe any more - it just plain sucks camel toe now - it's "unevolved" itself into one of those rare instances where Darwin's theory of evolution has sadly been proven wrong)
hey rooster
whats going on with the dam cricekt we are getting a gaat skoping i know my afrikaans is awefull
why have we gone from zero to hero
i feel the aussies were better than us all along but we beat them in aus cause they hadnt settled on the right combinations yet
\
thats just my opion
maybe rooster u should come out of retirement
hey rooster
whats going on with the dam cricekt we are getting a gaat skoping i know my afrikaans is awefull
why have we gone from zero to hero
i feel the aussies were better than us all along but we beat them in aus cause they hadnt settled on the right combinations yet
\
thats just my opion
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Nah..fuckers got lucky and won the toss 5 times in a row....cricket is a game of psychology and in a pressure game there's a huge advantage in batting first. We've suffered at the hands of the pitches and the psychology and yes...once again it seems we'll be knocked off our purch by those halfwit australians.
Not another hatchet "cut & paste" job from hayibo.com AGAIN!
For Chrissakes chicken-shit man/fowl... write your own "sheet" and stop poaching other peoples friggin' content. The interweb is choked enough copies without your silly duplications.
Fuck me... those frontal lobes must be gasping for their fair share of haemoglobin by now for you to stoop to this crap stunt.
Oh, and BTW - no, I'm not going to vote cause the last time I voted was "yes" to get the anc unbanned and look at the shit sandwich that progressed from there (and not to mention that I don't give the proverbial "flying fuck" about Southern Zimbabwe any more - it just plain sucks camel toe now - it's "unevolved" itself into one of those rare instances where Darwin's theory of evolution has sadly been proven wrong)
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What are you on about again ? I'm not voting for the post mbeki ANC either , but what truly has gone wrong since they have been in power ? Record economic growth , huge decreases in violent crime etc. I'm currently in the transkei and you just need to see the big and beautiful houses and cars flashing around everywhere where there used to be nothing but mud huts. Not to mention all these millions of people with running water , electricity and free government houses. Not to mention a government voted in on a near communist agenda sought to practice free market capitalism. They fucking privitised most of the shit for fuck sakes.
Listen carefully...there is absolutely no case for the "South Africa is worse under the current government than under the apartheid government" ...no case whatsoever. Anyone making this case is misinformed or simply a hateful , bitter white racist.
well i am not a white rascit
but i would say sa was far better off under the old law infact i would sa is way worse mass of people all want out . apartied wasnt right rascim cannot ever be justifed
people livied longer less crime less aids better hospitals i have seen the giverment hospials in durban and joburg lately filthy durty no doctors nurses
as for decrease is crime i dont know bout that murders r down true
but rape is up and car jackings are up . house breakins are up
the citys were cleaner and i would say the life span was longer
well i am not a white rascit
but i would say sa was far better off under the old law infact i would sa is way worse mass of people all want out . apartied wasnt right rascim cannot ever be justifed
people livied longer less crime less aids better hospitals i have seen the giverment hospials in durban and joburg lately filthy durty no doctors nurses
as for decrease is crime i dont know bout that murders r down true
but rape is up and car jackings are up . house breakins are up
the citys were cleaner and i would say the life span was longer
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You're mad. Did you ever go to a state sponsored hospital during apartheid ?
I don't know why the government shuld get blamed for peoples sexual practices and hate to think of the implications if they ever did. Aids didn't even exist as a official disease until like 1988. The rise in aids cases is directly proportinal to the rise in aids tests (in other words... no actual raise, just more people being tested).
There wasn't less crime. 1994 was the highest crime year recorded. If you look a a graph of crime in S.A you can see an actual steady decline since the ANC took over. Those are just the facts.This is because people now either actually have something to lose , so don't
t engage in dangerous behaviour (maslows hierarchy of needs and all that) , or now are getting educated. The country is massively more wealthy , the infastucture is a million times better (more and better roads, malls , townhuse complexes etc everywhere etc).
Anyone claiming the country is worse than 1994 is probably an embittered white person with an agenda.
well ja rooster i did go to goverment hospitals under aparthiedclean fast and efficent
this oke sums it up here i didnt write this
well u said how can a govemrnt be blamed for a std like aids well the anc says hiv doesnt lead to aids and they if u want to cure aids eat the beetroot and african potoato anc said that. the only thing to cure aids in drugs
. Speak to most blacks and they will tell you nothing has changed and in fact most will say conditions are far wose under your hero’s the ANC’s misrule. If you are a black person yourself at least try to be honest!
Look a bit further at the rest of Africa. Algeria to Zimbabwe (to cover the entire alphabet). Are you saying that the cause of the disgracefull dishonesty, decay, corruption, brutallitiy, savagery is all attributable to the evils of apartheid? AS you are such a keen researcher apply your mind to what is the common denominator in all this decay and destruction.
As for AA and BEE. How does removing all the white education, experience and ability in favour of inexperienced, under educated dishonest, get rich quick obsessed blacks advance the cause for anyone?
Surely it would be preferable to retain one million white experienced middle managers to train and guide inexperienced (20 to 45 million of them) blacks to create jobs for the masses rather than the current mess that has the country realling from the very obvious damage to our infrastructure and services. Most if not all government departments are a joke and strangling themselves with ineptitude. AA and BEE and inherent dishonesty to blame!
The percentage of whites to blacks is as you point out, so negligable that AA and BEE are a complete counter productive farce as can be seen if you look in any direction at any time. The damage that has been done is irreversable.
"You're mad. Did you ever go to a state sponsored hospital during apartheid ? "
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Why would you want to? They're terrible. I'd rather have no state hospitals, so that everything is privatised. Income tax will be lower. Socialism doesn't work. It SEEMS to work in the short run, but the long-term effects are damaging. History shows this to be true.
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"I don't know why the government shuld get blamed for peoples sexual practices and hate to think of the implications if they ever did. Aids didn't even exist as a official disease until like 1988. The rise in aids cases is directly proportinal to the rise in aids tests (in other words... no actual raise, just more people being tested). "
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Similarly, that applies to all medical illnesses. Viruses and diseases are able to mutate and develop. HIV did that in the 80s.
ANd yes, the governemnt shouldn't be blamed for sex.
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"There wasn't less crime. 1994 was the highest crime year recorded."
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True and untrue. A factual claim like that can't be successfully made. SA had dodgy crime stats prior to 1994. Reporting was heavily regulated and manipulated. The best one can do is use anecdotal "stats". And, based on interviews, polls, and investigative journalism done in townships etc, crime was lower during apartheid.
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"If you look a a graph of crime in S.A you can see an actual steady decline since the ANC took over."
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Fair enough. But that can't be attributed to the ANC taking over. It's possibly just coincidental. Similarly, since passenger airliners have been in existence, global climate has warmed. But that doesn't mean that planes are the link.
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"Those are just the facts."
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Generally, yes. But it's the way in which those facts are interpreted and spun that is the important bit.
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"This is because people now either actually have something to lose , so don't
t engage in dangerous behaviour (maslows hierarchy of needs and all that) , or now are getting educated."
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That's a dangerous claim. There is no hard evidence to suggest that poverty leads to crime. The fact that there are more poverty-stricken people who DO NOT engage in crime debunks this myth. Similarly, there is a huge amount of crime that happens amongst wealthy people. Consider fraud, corruption, tax evasion, drug trafficking, weapons trafficking, etc.
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"The country is massively more wealthy , the infastucture is a million times better (more and better roads, malls , townhuse complexes etc everywhere etc). "
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Again, that doesn't get attributed to the ANC. That is attributed to the liberalization and privatisation of the SA market and economy, which could have happened under any political party.
well u said how can a govemrnt be blamed for a std like aids well the anc says hiv doesnt lead to aids and they if u want to cure aids eat the beetroot and african potoato anc said that. the only thing to cure aids in drugs
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Firstly that's total rubbish. The A.N.C has never denied Aids. In fact on the contrary they have over and over and over again put aids on top of their agenda. They did at one time try and get the scientific world to come here and have a conference to determine if hiv WAS THE ONLY CAUSE of aids, rather than hiv , diet , lifestyle etc
The dr Beetroot thing makes me furius. The minister never once said this was the cure for aids. She said what any responsible person who knows anything abut aids. The single most effective medicine towards fighting aids is this : vitamins. That's no conspiracy theory , that's a scientifically proven fact. And that's her point she was making , and the thing the white media went apeshit about....crazy ! With a typical meat and starch diet you will die faster from Anti retrvirals than without them....bettroot with it's high vitamin content and garlic with it's natural anti bioticx nature is brilliant advice for somene with aids.
. Speak to most blacks and they will tell you nothing has changed and in fact most will say conditions are far wose under your hero’s the ANC’s misrule. If you are a black person yourself at least try to be honest!
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What rubbish ! Speak t any of the now 6 millin blacvk middle class and try and get them to tell yu nothing has changed. Or the 10 million people who now have houses ,running water and electricity. What bullshit !
As for AA and BEE. How does removing all the white education, experience and ability in favour of inexperienced, under educated dishonest, get rich quick obsessed blacks advance the cause for anyone?
Surely it would be preferable to retain one million white experienced middle managers to train and guide inexperienced (20 to 45 million of them) blacks to create jobs for the masses rather than the current mess that has the country realling from the very obvious damage to our infrastructure and services. Most if not all government departments are a joke and strangling themselves with ineptitude. AA and BEE and inherent dishonesty to blame!
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Go to wikipedia and look up south africa and demographics. Read up about the whites...96.6 of adults are employed or at university. That's higher than the United states.
Why would you want to? They're terrible. I'd rather have no state hospitals, so that everything is privatised. Income tax will be lower. Socialism doesn't work. It SEEMS to work in the short run, but the long-term effects are damaging. History shows this to be true.
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No , I'm going with socialism on this one (but I'm a free maret capatalist at heart). Everyone has the right to good FREE medicine. I'm perfectly willing for some of my money to be used in helping some poor other bastard. Think of it as forced charity. I think it's an ethos of the universe that we need to prioratise the health of people who can't afford it above my right to buy a second yacht.
True and untrue. A factual claim like that can't be successfully made. SA had dodgy crime stats prior to 1994. Reporting was heavily regulated and manipulated. The best one can do is use anecdotal "stats". And, based on interviews, polls, and investigative journalism done in townships etc, crime was lower during apartheid
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True. People are quick to say they're covering up crime now , but slow to admit they did a hell of a lot of this during apartheid. As long as you're thinking in the social constructionist paradigm then you're ok with me and welcome to your opinion and speculation as to what the data concludes.
Again, that doesn't get attributed to the ANC. That is attributed to the liberalization and privatisation of the SA market and economy, which could have happened under any political party.
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Yup. But it did happen under the A.N.C ...a party who was voted in on the promise of communist manifesto. A party who called one another "comrade" for god sakes. Despite this 95% of us still have our farms, luxury lifestyle , private banks etc .......jesus......It's crazy people don't stop to reflect how brilliant Thabo Mbeki and his team were. Zuma ? Can go fuck himself. I know machiavellian like populism and a sociopath when I see it.
I'm voting D.A. Helen Zille just looks like somene who gets shit done...sancimonious old bat !
"No , I'm going with socialism on this one (but I'm a free maret capatalist at heart). Everyone has the right to good FREE medicine. I'm perfectly willing for some of my money to be used in helping some poor other bastard. Think of it as forced charity. I think it's an ethos of the universe that we need to prioratise the health of people who can't afford it above my right to buy a second yacht."
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Fair enough. But I'd rather do that out of my own free will, and not by state-instituted taxation. NGOs and the private sector can look after the poor more effectively than the government. Besides, it can reduce corruption, potentially. The Lotto should be privatised too. Right now, under state control, it's doing very little for the poor.
With the above in mind, buying a yacht is my right. It's my money to with what I want. And if I'm selfish, then I will deal with the consequences.
"Yup. But it did happen under the A.N.C"
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Well, it would have happened under ANY party taking over in 94. The world was watching. There was global pressure. SA HAD to step carefully and liberally.
The ANC doesn't take any credit from that. The UDM would have done the same. Or the IFP. Or the DP.
The fact that the ANC is heading left shows what they REALLY think, now that the 94 novelty is wearing thin...
The fact that the ANC is heading left shows what they REALLY think, now that the 94 novelty is wearing thin...
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It's heading left because that's what always happens when a big party with a big majority loses favour. They move left to pander to the poor majority. Only I think they will find around 40% of the country won't see much benefit in that for them. The more radical they get the more "niche" they'll become and lose mass support (but scrape through with a majority none the less.)
It's heading left because that's what always happens when a big party with a big majority loses favour.
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That's debatable. If they get a bigger majority win this election. then the converse is true.
And if they lose 5% of the vote, that's negligible still.
Fair enough. But I'd rather do that out of my own free will, and not by state-instituted taxation. NGOs and the private sector can look after the poor more effectively than the government. Besides, it can reduce corruption, potentially. The Lotto should be privatised too. Right now, under state control, it's doing very little for the poor.
With the above in mind, buying a yacht is my right. It's my money to with what I want. And if I'm selfish, then I will deal with the consequences.
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Well that's the sad thing. Both free market capatalism/libetarianism and socialism/communism pragmatically fail. The problem is human nature. A nice sensible combination of the best elements can be found in the american and even south african constitutions. The right first to food, education and health care ...and once that's established for all we can hopefully all move on to the self actualisation part of our lives where things such as charityand neo-altruism become more.....natural.
I think they'll lose more than 5%. But not a hell of a lot more. I'm sitting in an A.N.C strong hld right now and have had a few chats with the locals. COPE is now without its supporters , if for nothing more than Zuma is not trusted by many Xhosas.
Well that's the sad thing. Both free market capatalism/libetarianism and socialism/communism pragmatically fail. The problem is human nature.
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Therefore, NO system works.
The solution? Kill humankind.
Well that's the sad thing. Both free market capatalism/libetarianism and socialism/communism pragmatically fail. The problem is human nature.
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Therefore, NO system works.
The solution? Kill humankind.
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ha ha ha....yup. I've been saying it on my other blog for years ( fingerandthumb.blogspot.com ) ..starting with australians just in case we change our minds about 20 million people in. We don't want to have regrets.
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