Thursday, 24 July 2008

The real issues #1 : Afrikaaners




Excuse my absense these past few days , but to be perfectly honest the weather has been far too beautiful my side of the country to bother even thinking about getting on a computer. Reason number 1 974 532 to love South Africa : the weather.

Now that I've effectively debunked all the false snake oil notions of South Africa going around the internet , I thought I'd turn my attention for the moment to some of the actual real problems plaguing our beautful land. Desite it's mostly excellent government and improving social conditions , South Africa is not without its hinderences. I thought I'd bring the top 5 perils facing our nation today to your attention this week. These are in no specific order , but I'll start today with number 1.

Problem 1 : Afrikaaners

So what do I have against Afrikaaners ?

Nothing.

What would I like against them ?

A big Anvil.

Seriously a group of people who celebrate as their greatest achievement as the time they went on a long walk , can't be much good. And on closer inspection that's is exactly right. They're no good at all.

Now it goes without saying that Afrikaaners are crap. A nation that identifies with people who rode around on horses dressed as a mixture between zz top and boy scouts , can't fairly be described as “not crap”. It's however how this crapness seeps into and infects South African culture , oozing like puss from every radio station and tv set that is the inherent problem.

Now I'm not proposing we kill afrikaaners or anything so dramatic. They have in fact proved very useful in the new South Africa by guarding our cars and cleaning the toilets. However I do have to insist that we do a little something about their inteference in popular culture in our country. In the spirit of offering a solution for cultural vermin that Afrikaaners are , I propose the following measures be put into place.

1)Exterminate Kurt Darren. The very social fabric that weaves civilisation together almost rips apart upon every Kurt Darren album release. I fear we are one fat kurt pelvic thrust away from being thrown into a primeval state of chaos and decay.

2)Ban the Afrikaans language. The whole thing just sounds like people gargling , spitting , coughing up phlemgn and burping anyway. It's not as if afrikaaners ever have anything intelligent or interesting to say anyway , so why do they need a language ?

3)Take 7 De Laan off the air and replace it with something more entertaining such as footage of freshly painted walls. Or at least something more dignified like midget wrestling. The blonde one however can be allowed to stay on television on provision she is never allowed to speak or wear clothing. A fair compromise . Every episode of 7 De Laan being screened is travelling across the universe as we speak , and god help us if any aliens ever pick it up , because they'll be manning their star cruisers and cocking their laser guns with South Africa in their sights. 7 De Laan is a gallactic suicide note.

4)Ban Sokkie dancing. I really shouldn't have to explain why. Just do it. For the sake of our childrens future. Please , think of the children.

5)Burn any two tone khaki shirts in existance. This really is for their own benefit because when the time comes that I am king, let's face it, you may as well just wear a target on your chest than a two tone shirt. Not to sound meterosexual or anything , but a two tone shirt is the fashion equivalent of child rape. When I am King you will be first against the wall.


There. I think I've proposed 5 very elegant and practical solutions to help "perfect" our country. Write your local government representative and express your approval.

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, man.. dig the photo of ZZ top

The Rooster said...

ha ha ha ha ha....I've got to adjust my post to include that....thanks !

Anonymous said...

You do realize every computer-owning-internet-connected boer is going to be on your case after this post, right? Isn't Kurt Darren actually English speaking? You sure know a lot about Kurt... that is disturbing... and how come they never show sex scenes in 7de laan? I have Afrikaner family and they have lots in common with Indians. For instance, in bollywood and 7de laan no one has sex.... very weird. Anyway, I like Afrikaners and Indians and Blacks and Whites and Chinese and half breeds.

Good luck with pissing off retards

Anonymous said...

PS. please explain to me why boers are called planks? And black people flappie? Huh? I think we need a glossary of racial terms to go with this blog.

the_rooster said...

I have no idea. I've never heard the terms "planks" or "flappies".

I'm with you though...I like everyone ...'d hate to live in some place which only assimulated one culture. How incredibly dull that would be. All these afrikaaners who spew hate at everyone obviously fall into my crosshair once in a while. I wonder what would happen if they were given a country of their own. Who would they blame for their failures then ? It would really be interested if they started to realise that they are resposible for their own lives. I suppose it's hard for them after being babies and protected by the apartheid government for so long. No need to get educated and work hard when there's a nice government hand out job for you .

Anonymous said...

The boers (dutchman, planks, rockspiders) are just a bunch of brandy drinking wankers with no future. They ruined a once great country and now blame the blacks for it. You are so lazy that you have a maid in your kitchen which most of you boers have sex with her, You have a boy in the garden to pick up the dog shit and do your work for you while you drink brandy and talk shit. It is no wonder they hate you so much.

Anonymous said...

That is one of the biggest problems in this country today - we "box" certain people and cultures.. for instance i think all black people are corrupt, lazy, smell bad, are barbarians and hate Afrikaners because of apartheid and Kurt Darren.. however, there are exceptions to the rule and if you think that all Afrikaners like Brandy and coke, listen to Kurt and sokkie sokkie, you are greatly mistaken. By the way, check your story for spelling before posting it - idiot

The Rooster said...

If they don't listen to kurt , drink brandy and coke , or sokkie sokkie ...then they are not afrikaaners. They are honorary human beings.

The Rooster said...

Please post using a name people. It's annoying not knowing wich idiot is which.

Anonymous said...

Hey man, Afrikaans is cool. You can have a sokkie, wear a sokkie or you can sokkie-sokkie...Kurt Darren is a sokkie-moffie...
Rooster, thanks for the old pic of the fierce Afrikaner warriors (of the olden days) at a sokkie... carrying guns and ammo in case some blacks or english try to attack/crash the sokkie...

The Rooster said...

Ha ha ha . To be totally fair I'd not use the word "cool" to decribe afrikaaners. But a bit of self love is truly the way towards being a fully functioning healthy member of society , so I applaud your efforts.

Anonymous said...

They have their own country in Oranje...
A paradise were everyone walks around bearfoot, have sokkies and listen to Kurt. No blacks allowed, only as labourers. Very contradictory, innit?

The Rooster said...

I'm all for an afrikaans homeland. Really I can't think of a more fitting punishment for afrikaaners than forcing them to live with themseves. Might even force a moment of introsection.

Anonymous said...

he he he that pic was taken yesterday at a Kurt Darren concert in Pofadder

Anonymous said...

Just think how dirty the homeland/whiteland would be without any maids or gardeners

The Rooster said...

There's actual a place called poffaer still ? Shit ! What's the government doing ? Ya gotz ta change dat shit dawg !

Seriously , they need to change all afrikaans named places and streets.

The Rooster said...

Names people...write under a name.It's really not that hard .

Anonymous said...

My name is anonymous. I was thinking that you were ok, but then you said we have to change all the names... now I think you suck again. It must be difficult to be you. No one likes you except Greg. Do you know how much money it costs to change silly names? Money that could go to needy people and places where it would actually make a difference. rooster you suck eggs

The Rooster said...

Oh come on...I'm clearly looking for love and adoratin by writing this blog. (he he).

Actually I'm pretty apathetic about name changes until someone gets riled up about it. Then I'll just say they should change it to watch them spit the dummy.

AQUILOGY said...

Dude, are you really a white guy?

Not amused said...

Yup, white guy for sure...

The Rooster said...

Aquilogy , does it matter ? Let them chase around their red herrings and have their little speculations. Email me if you really want to know.

Good to see you back here...I've not been checking up on my usual blogs these past few days.

PfP said...

the_rooster said...
I have no idea. I've never heard the terms "planks" or "flappies".

I'm with you though...I like everyone ...'d hate to live in some place which only assimulated one culture.
+++++++++++++++++++++

The Rooster said...
If they don't listen to kurt , drink brandy and coke , or sokkie sokkie ...then they are not afrikaaners. They are honorary human beings.

+++++++++++++++++++++

The Rooster said...
Ha ha ha . To be totally fair I'd not use the word "cool" to decribe afrikaaners.
+++++++++++++++++++++

The Rooster said...
I'm all for an afrikaans homeland. Really I can't think of a more fitting punishment for afrikaaners than forcing them to live with themseves.
++++++++++++++++++++++

Say no more.........

Ron. said...

The people that you speak of in this offensive (which was certainly what you were attempting) article are not Afrikaners as you are talking about the Boer people who were somewhat co-opted by the Afrikaners during the 20th cent. The picture you are using is a picture of Boers from the second Anglo-Boer War.

The fact that you have never heard of the derogatory terms plank & flappie PROVES that you have NEVER been to South Africa in your life. I am surprised that others have not called you on this. While you do not call for the open genocide of the Afrikaans peoples as Richard Catto has done you are still providing the excuses for such an act which in fact is going on right now in a slower fashion.

The banning of Afrikaans notion is a huge joke & I had to laugh at this suggestion because there are MORE Coloured people or Brown Afrikaners who speak Afrikaans than White people. Ha ha ha ha ha. You have PROVEN yourself once again to be such an ignoramus. In your apparent hatred of White Afrikaans speakers you have made a proposal which would affect the Coloured peoples too perhaps even more -as more White Afrikaans speakers are bilingual (even multi-lingual) while the Coloureds tend to only be able to speak Afrikaans. This proposal will make enemies of the Coloured & aboriginal people as well as they all speak Afrikaans [1] as a home language as well.

Furthermore: Afrikaans (as a name) was IMPOSED onto the Boers by the Cape based Afrikaners as the Boers NEVER called their dialect Afrikaans as they called it Boertaal or just the Taal. The people who first began calling their dialect of French & Malay influenced Frankonish (which is basically what Afrikaans is) [2] were some intellectuals in the Western Cape in 1875 when they started an Afrikaans language rights group. [3] Therefore all ban would do is to further marginalize & oppress the Afrikaans speakers of all races.

Notes.

1. The aboriginal Khoisan peoples of the Northern Cape speak a dialect of Afrikaans (they helped to shape the language) along with the Griquas (a Boer / Khoi / Tswana pastoral mixed race) / the Cape Coloureds & even some Tswana. Afrikaans is spoken as a home language not just by the Boers & Afrikaners but by many other cultural / ethnic groups.

2. A M De Lange.

3. S J Du Toit his brother D F Du Toit & Gideon Malherbe all from the Cape Dutch group at the Western Cape were the ones who started an Afrikaans language rights group in 1875 at a time when the Boers were living on the eastern Cape frontier or were independent in their internationally recognized republics in the north. The term Cape Dutch is used in the same sense as Pennsylvania Dutch as the Cape Dutch were not just of Dutch descent as the names Du Toit & Malherbe testify as those are French names from their French Huguenot progenitors.

The_rooster said...

Thanks for that informative article Ron. My article wasn't offensive to anyone except Afrikaaners. Frankly I don't see the problem offending them as this is South Africa and they don't have any rights here. They're not quite the same as human beings after all , are they ?

Anonymous said...

Hey anon 24 July 2008 05:25

Why do you want to suck my dick, I am not a fudge packer like you.

KOOS.

Anonymous said...

Hey Ron, man, don't worry. No one is taking this bovine/rooster seriously, I mean how can you? He's just looking for attention. I read somewhere that he is in Korea teaching English. Must have a lot of time on his hands to write crap like this.

Anonymous said...

Rooster (or is it cockup?),

I see you hide your profile info, are you scared?

The_Rooster said...

Rabble rabble rabble ...

All this speculation is very flattering.

Am I scared ? One lesson I've learnt in life is that empty vessels do indeed make the most noise. So keep my belly laughing by sending me the death threats you stupid white trash,

Anonymous said...

What a hoot - what's the skaapies Neels and Bert OOSTHUIZEN going to say over at Sowff Efrika Sukks, not to mention the censorbugbear adriana struijt racist bitch.

Please Sir can I have some more boerewors - you know where?

Wankers.

The_rooster said...

doosthuizen....you life insurance salesman...I call you out !

Anonymous said...

rooster where the hell is your email address. We gotta talk.

Anonymous said...

OMG - what the fuck is this Bert?

http://marwinsing-marwinsing.blogspot.com/2008/07/ha-ha-this-is-crazy.html

Anonymous said...

i dont think the term kaffir is a gud description of a black person to shit skin is more decriptive i mean u stink like shit u full of shit u work like shit and u the color of shit i rest my case :p you fuckers will freek hungry in this continent you more clever brothers know it and that is why they runing away to aus.

The_Rooster said...

My email adress can be found on the page..

Anonymous said...

Koos, change your name, please. It rhymes with doos and it's embarrassing me.
Rooster-bovine you are an asshole with a multiple personallity disorder. Greg you are his enabler and a yank-doos.

Anonymous said...

To the Admin of this Blog see if you got the egg's to pass this comment and post it ! Summed up clearly, I think !! LOL


Yes Rooster go show your cock somewhere else That's probably why you chose the name Rooster ? Duhh ?

The Boers had a Kak camera Yes but you had none !! Duhhh!!

We had horses and Hats you didnt at that stage, Duhh!!

You like all the other races because they feed you !!! Duhh!!

And to top it off, we are not perverted like you Blacks we dont need to watch sex all the time. No wonder you rape and torture dogs after using drugs !!! LOL !!

Snowy Smith said...

@ anon 28 July 2008 06:16

You are incorrigible you closet gay little porcupine (porcupine - get it?).

You are not to blame for your sins and inability to write half sensible language - after all you were born to speak a language disappearing faster than the worlds fuel reserves or faster than you can cash your protected skaap employment check at the fucking post office.

Whoo's yr mama?

Greg said...

Snowy Smith - why is it that in most of your posts you say something along lines of "come to SA, get murdered" or something like that? Not only on SAS but at other forums as well.

Anonymous said...

Your time is coming... again. The Christian Boer will rise again.

Greg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.