Friday, 10 October 2008
American sports/bum rape
The Americans ? What have I got against the Americans ?
Nothing , sadly .
What would I like against them ?
An Anvil .
Bunch of inbred, monster truck driving , road kill eating, ignorance celbrating cretins.
I don't want to be nasty or anything or perpetuate stereotypes. Americans are just like other people except a little fattened up and dumbed down. Nah..let's be honest...Americans are douchbags. The only thing worse than an American is someone that actually chooses to live there. South African expats for example.
So what's so crap about America ?
Where to start ? Paris Hilton ? Britney Spears ? George Bush ? Sarah Palin ?
Now , I'm not going to start criticizing their stupidity or the war in Iraq , and it's supernova sized flaws . That's like clubbing baby seals , and anyone who still supports that piss guzzling ,golden shower , farce of a war is clinically brain dead and certainly not capable of the higher mental functioning and semantics required to read . Instead I'm going to expose that festering wound , spread like Cultural Herpes world wide through ESPN : American Sport(s) !
Let's start with the festival of man love , called Ice Hockey . Not to be confused with Field Hockey - predominately played by heterosexual men , rather Ice Hockey is strictly the property of raging butt f#ckers .
In fact , scientific studies have show a strong correlation between playing ice Hockey and having a limp wrist . Further strong correlations between having a limp wrist and buggering people up the bum have also been proved scientifically . Take the logical Leap , Emmanuel Kant .
When not mincing around in tight leather , bum hole , exposing pants and dog collars , Ice Hockey players are doing what they love most . Dry humping each other up against some perspex . Running around all limp wristed with their phallic objects , practicing the skills they learn in figure skating class (which they mostly joined for the tight pants) .
In short , Ice Hockey is an atrocity against sport . Either it should lose it's status as a sport , or the art of dildo buggery (“played” in gimp suits) should also be labeled a sport . What next ? Man on man rim jobs coming live from the Olympics ?
Next : American football .
Often compared to it's manly cousin "Rugby" . If we must compare the two things , there is only one thing that needs saying : Rugby is played with bigger balls !
Rugby : Big balls
American Football : Small balls
Getting the picture?
That's not even to mention the tight pants , shoulder pads , doing a lot of bending over . And the last time I saw so many grown men in tight pants dancing like retards , I was watching Ballet . I'm hearing Tchaikovsky's "swan lake" just thinking about American Football . And that's NOT a good thing !
Ah yes , Baseball .
Nuff Said .
You muppets can keep that hell hole. You fit right in.
Posted by The Rooster at 06:31