Thursday, 26 June 2008

Wank festivals of the neurotic white masses...





Whilst living in the ........er....interesting country of Thailand , I would often pop over to my home countries online newspapers , mostly for a good laugh .

In between the uplifting tales of anal buggery and sports headlines starring Crushing/Humiliating Defeat , I read about all sorts of interesting things .

For example I learned that Armageddon had struck Thailand , a veritable plague of "bird flue" was wiping out the masses . Along with pictures of women gasping for air through their face masks , metaphorically reaching out for the helping hands of the White Knights of the West .

Chicken Genocide was taking place at a level that would have made Colonel Saunders cum in his pants and here I was in Thailand , the centre of it all , and I'd heard nothing about it .

Now , given that , the Thai people aren't possibly the most responsible people in the world .That not EVERY SINGLE Thai airways jets crashes and burns horrible into the ground , is to me one of God's great unexplainable mysteries (like Australia).

So of course , being that kind of person who doesn't want to die (you know the type: not counting those times during when they put Kurt Darren on at the pub) , I obviously decided to do a bit of research into , as I like to call it " WHAT THE F#CK IS GOING ON?"

Soon it all blew over , and it was back to murdering chickens at a more sane level (turn in your grave colonel!) , but not before the world had gone into wide spread panic over the death of about 18 people (about 1/100th of the amount of people who had died of other types of flue those few weeks).

It wasn't long and then everyone was shitting their pants over Sars . Now if they meant the "South African Revenue Service" , sure , I'd agree , the worse thing to happen since Cancer ! But they were talking about a flue that had the strange and inexplicable way of killing the OLD AND THE ALREADY SICK . Exactly like all flue has been doing for thousands of years . Cunning .

Anyway , Sars panic came and passed , but not before George W Bush had used tax payers money to fund pharmaceutical companies with billions of dollars to provide vaccines (for a disease that killed 180 old or already sick people) in about a year .

Would you like to speculate on what kind of cut backs the politicians got from these billions of dollars investments into the glutinous pockets of the pharmaceutical companies ? What next ? Helmets ? Never know when that sky's going to fall on your heads !

(Also worth considering is Malaria kills 1 million people in Africa every year , far more than AIDS, and this would be easily avoided with relatively tiny bit of investment.)

Now this all brings me to my point (god help us) . With this type of bullshit scaremongering going on in the world , and huge profits being made out of it . Isn't it perhaps a little likely it might have some part to play in the over exaggeration of H.I.V/Aids in some African countries ? All these "charity organizations" on the level ? All pharmaceutical companies receiving government "grants" to produce "free" anti retrovirals , have no interest in exaggerating the demand ?

Every time I see some sensationalist f#cking “1 out of 5” people are dying from Aids in South Africa claim I want to murder somebody (well , more than usual anyway). Obviously a scourge of Crack has infiltrated the Media , cause they sure are speaking a bunch of Smug f#cking sh!t !

Now I'm not suggesting HIV/Aids isn't a big problem . You don't need the philosophical prowess of Emmanuel Kant , or a degree in bio-chemistry to see how a killer sexually transmitted disease might be a problem in a promiscuous , non condom wearing society . WE UNDERSTAND !

But ...!

I don't know when this “1 in 5” nonsense started . It's been longer than 10 years now anyway . You would think it that time I might ..... just might , have known one SINGLE F#CKING PERSON who died of Aids . In fact if there had been any truth to this urban myth that been drilling into our little South African minds we’d have a minimum loss of 800 000 people every year. And that’s a conservative estimate. How many people in fact are dying ? the only reliable source I have seen was for 2005 where …wait for it…15000 people died of Aids.

Now I know what’s coming next. You will argue that it’s masked as TB. There is no good reason to think this because TB has been killing people since the dawn of time in Africa at far higher rates that have been happening today and it’s far more likely in fact that with all the panic Tb deaths are recorded as AIDS than the other way around. But even if we do use this flawed logic that would account for another 45 000 deaths in 2005. So at a grossly inflated to reality rate a worst case scenario is 70 000 people. Not 1 tenth of what can be expect as a best case scenario by these 1 in 5 guesstimates.

I could bore you with studies done to show in South African jails only 1.4 % of the inmates had Aids .How statistically the chances of getting Hiv from heterosexual intercourse is seriously minuscule that you’d need at least 2000 sexual exposures to someone with HIV to even stand a small chance of getting aids (but increases if you both have an std...so wear a damn Condom you idiots !!!) and 1000 exposures if you’re into anal sex.

In fact if you think about it if there is any truth to the 1 in 5 myth that would mean that an std such as HIV that was so hard to contract sexually somehow managed to be MORE prevalent than something as easy to contract as herpes or syphilis. This makes NO sense. It’s nonsense , it’s bollocks, it’s b#llshit of the highest order. You’re being made to look like a chump by these manipulated statistics and I suggest someone is getting very rich off it.

Adding to that there are very , very good reasons to even question how big a role HIV even plays in Aids. The fact of the matter is that if you take a person who doesn’t eat well (already has a low immune system) , give him some highly stressful news(which lowers the immune system) such as…I don’t know…”YOU ARE GOING TO DIE”…the stress alone could kill him. Add to that mix the most superficial of illnesses and he’s number is up. The solution some people seem to think is give these people anti retrovirals , which are highly toxic , without addressing the factors that lead them to have low immune systems in the first place, such as poor diet. You may as well feed the arsenic !

The irony is that our minister of health and president very calmly tried to make this very valid point that we need to deal with AIDS holistically and suggested some very pragmatic things people could do such as take vitamins and natural antibiotics in the forms of beetroot and garlic, and whitey ran out of his way to call them “witch doctors”. Well done whitey , your ignorance and eagerness to label any black person stupid has taken some more lives. Murderers.

What really pisses me off , is they loaded all this “hyperbole” into my nervous system .Made me sure that sex would surely lead to my rapid painful death ( oral sex would probably just leave me paralyzed ) . Ensured that every sexual encounter was akin to Russian roulette and that sleeping around akin to Mass murder .

Condoms , it was implied , were only slightly effective , and sleeping around with a condom would was like heroine use .It wont kill you right away , but the reaper was already lifting his scythe and ......in time my friend.....in time .

So at that more innocent time , the only people sleeping around ,(in my mind ) were death wish heroine junkies , mass murderers , suicidal gamblers , the French , and Bill Clinton .
Anyone else who was sleeping around had given up on condoms (because they were sure they would die anyway) , and “sex” was all a bit shit really .

So what's wrong with the media's sensationalistic claims and paranoia feeding bullshit ?


............warning the following contains scenes of , narcissism ,pussiness and whining like a little bitch ....those with a sensitive stomach should not read on...............


I don't know about anyone else , but after a drunken reckless stint of “playing” around Asia , I spent 2 years of hell , total fucking hell ! The stress of which actually made me often sick (helping to further perpetuate my fears) , thinking I obviously had picked it up .I'd even had unprotected sex after all .I was doomed , surely ? Nights of drinking to ease my fears , leading to more “mishaps” , and a whole vicious cycle started . Pushing people who loved me away and descending into a pit of debauchery that made me the dark f#cker I am today .

So eventually I did the right thing (so I could get it over with) , went for tests and I was 100% fine . I was so shocked I even went for a second opinion . Again : 100% fine . Not even a boring std to boast about .

But the damage can not be outdone .Once you have stared death in the face , and rushed through anger , fear , bargaining etc of death into the phase of acceptance.....there are no more fucking easter bunnies and pretty sunny rainbows for you my friend .

Thanks......media . Thanks Whitey.


@ssholes

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jy's regtig dom flappie? Die BAAS.

bovinerebel said...

I don't speak "bonehead". Sorry.